Tips to prevent children biting others and/or to stop children biting others
Description
Biting another child is one of the more unacceptable, aggressive behaviors in our
society. The parent of the child who has been bitten is usually upset and worried
about the risk of infection. If biting happens in a day care setting, the other parents
may want the biter to be expelled. If it happens in someone else's home, the child
is often told never to return. Adults tend to forget that some biting behavior in
a group of toddlers is to be expected.
Causes
Children usually discover biting by chance when they are about 1 year old and teething.
Most children first learn to bite by biting their parents in a playful manner. It
is important to try to interrupt this primitive behavior at this early stage. The
biting often continues because the parents initially think it is cute and the child
considers it a game to get attention.
Later, children may bite when they are frustrated and want something from another
child. At an age when children have minimal verbal skills, biting becomes a primitive
form of communication. Only after a child is 2 or 3 years old does biting become
a deliberate way to express anger and intimidate others.
Recommendations
- Establish a rule: "We never bite people."
Give your child a reason for the rule,
namely that biting hurts.
Other reasons (that won't interest a young child) are that
bites can lead to infection or scarring. - Suggest a safe alternative behavior.
Tell your child that if he wants something he
should come to you and ask for help or point to it. He should not bite the person
who has it.
If your child is at the chewing age (usually less than 18 months), help
him choose a toy that he can bite rather than tell him that he cannot bite anything.
A firm toy or
teething ring will do. Encourage him to carry his "chewy" with him for
a few days. - Interrupt biting with a sharp "No."
Be sure to use an unfriendly voice and look your
child straight in the eye. Try to interrupt her when she looks as if she might bite
someone before she actually does it.
Especially close supervision of your child may
be necessary until you are sure he/she will no longer bite people. - Give your child a time-out when he/she bites people.
Send him/her to a boring place
for approximately one minute per year of age.
If he/she tries to bite you while you
are holding him/her, say "No." Always put him/her down immediately and walk away
(a form of time-out). If time-out does not
work, take away a favorite toy for the
rest of the day. - Never bite your child for biting someone else.
Biting back will make your child upset
that you hurt him/her and may teach him/her that it is okay to bite if you're bigger.
Also, do not wash your child's mouth out with soap, pinch or pop his/her cheek, or
slap his/her mouth. In fact, if your child tends to be aggressive, avoid physical
punishment in general (for example, spanking).
Also eliminate "love-bites" because
your child will not understand how they are different from painful biting. - Praise your child for not biting.
Praise your child especially when he/she is in situations
in which he used to bite or when he is with children whom he/she used to bite. Remind
your child gently not to bite before you embark on a high-risk visit. Then
if he/she doesn't bite, praise him afterward for good behavior. - Biting in child care settings.
Biting behavior is common in child care settings. The
preceding approach should be used by day care staff to eliminate the behavior in
their setting. Provide careful supervision and quickly place the biting child in
time-out, even when he/she acts like he/she might bite someone. In general biting
is harmless since most bites by younger children don't puncture the skin.
Prevention
The best time to stop biting behavior from becoming a habit is when the biting first
starts. Be sure that no one laughs when your child bites and that no one, including
older siblings, treats biting as a game. Also never give in to your child's demands
because of biting.